I would like to express my gratitude on the 20th anniversary of my first psychotic episode in New York City in 1999 to everyone who has helped me get this far by committing to continue my journey of lifelong learning for mental and physical wellness. I was able to make a strong recovery thanks to my parents Vimala and Pervez Mohammed as well as Rukhsana and Tawheed Hazarika (my aunt and uncle in Andover, Massachusetts) for giving me the time, space and support I needed in the weeks and months soon after my first and second episodes. After my first psychotic episode, I was told it would be like managing diabetes since I would have to take medication for the rest of my life to stabilize the “chemical imbalance.”
As an amateur athlete I did not take well to the side effects of the medication, in particular the weight gain and lethargy. Therefore I fought against taking medication and eventually persuaded my psychiatrist that I was well enough not to need to take medication anymore which led to my second psychotic episode in 2005. After my second episode I realized the seriousness of my illness and worked hard to regain my mental wellness. It was a painful and challenging process, to say the least and I would never wish such an illness on my worst enemy. However, with the the appropriate medication, psychotherapy and family support, recovery is possible and can be sustained with time and effort.
Recovery is a continuous journey and therefore, even though I am currently feeling relatively stable and can perform rational thinking and do complex tasks, I have enrolled in recovery education classes at Boston University Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation. It is my belief that I can always learn something new about myself while striving for humility. Even though the episodes happened when I was in my twenties and now I’m in my forties, the courses I have enrolled in will hopefully make me feel even better, stronger and more resilient to take on the next 25 years of my working life. Learning and unlearning new and more effective ways of living, working and playing will help me become a better version of myself.